Should I Be Worried?

A few weeks ago Lily came up to me and said, "Did you know I can count to 100?" And then she proceeded to count to 100. I was pretty impressed. I think that is at least a first grade skill. I guess a little Team Umizoomi goes a long way.

Then on Christmas, Lily came up and sat next to me on the couch. Then she said, "Did you know that I can count backward from 100?" I laughed and said, "No, Lily, I didn't know that." She then proceeded to count backward from 100. I was really impressed then. And a little scared. She still has another year to go before Kindergarten.

The only thing John and I can figure is that either educational TV is much more effective than it gets credit for, or the older girls are number torturing her at night. Either way, I guess it is working.

What do I want for Christmas?

My family has exchanged names for Christmas and my sister wanted to know what I want. Here's the things I can think of:
Scarecrow and Mrs King Season 1 DVDs
Smallville Season 9 DVDs
Pride and Prejudice (the LDS version, Excel Entertainment) dvd
Hunger Games book or Mockingjay book
Biography of President Monson

Oh and I love to shop so I think giftcards are about the best gifts ever. So...
Giftcard to any of the following:
JoAnne Fabric, WalMart, Hancock Fabric, Shopko, Amazon.com, or Kohls.

And I love to eat, so I wouldn't mind a gift certificate to any good restaurant.

And if you're really feeling generous, I'd like a treadmill that could fold up and fit in a bathroom cabinet or somewhere small like that. That would be nice!!

Thank you Santa!

Mean Parents, Clever Kids

I am a mean parent sometimes. What's more, I am also a book fair scrooge. A while back I put the nix on spending money at book fairs. The kids feel all this pressure to buy something and nothing there is a good deal. I know that it is a school fundraiser for the library, and I'm all for books, as anyone who knows me understands. But it just kills me to pay full price for books when I could get them cheaper anywhere else. And there really are no cheap books. So when I tried to limit them on the amount they could spend, they ended up buying $3 erasers. Ridiculous in my opinion. So finally we just said, "No, we are not buying anything at the book fair. I'm sorry. I'll buy you a book out of the next book club issue or something."

My girls, being the clever girls they are, found a way out. They help the librarian (who is their best pal because they hang out there all the time) set up the book fair and she gives them each a $5 book fair gift certificate for helping. They are able to buy one book, and I don't have to spend any money. And there's no begging or whining involved. Smart kids. Everyone wins. I love them.

Sixth Sense

"I see . . .my mom getting up to exercise!!"

I swear that my children have a sixth sense about my trying to get up early. Whenever I get up the energy to decide to get up early in the morning and exercise, my kids sabotage me. Sunday night I finally went to bed early and planned on getting up at 6am to exercise. Adam woke up screaming at about 1am (which he never does) and Ruth woke us up about 3 am to tell us that Lily threw up in her bed and in their room on the way to the bathroom. AAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Thankfully John cleaned their room while I cleaned Lily and we weren't up for that long. I still got up at 6am but my heart just wasn't in it anymore. I tried doing yoga but didn't really like it as much as I thought and I think I hurt my knee a little. I'll have to find something more exciting to motivate me and find some way to hide it from that sixth sense. Good luck to me.

Caffeine-free October

As of September 30, I'm going caffeine-free for a month. I've been having trouble sleeping lately and have had an almost constant headache for a while now. Last Thursday I woke up with the idea that maybe cutting out caffeine might help. I don't drink tons of caffeinated drinks, but probably more than I should. I really like Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper. They're kind of my treat for when I get everyone down for a nap in the afternoon. Some people like chocolate, I like Diet Coke. But I am interested to see if laying off has any noticeable effect in my life. I'll try it for a month and if it doesn't work, I'm going back. For now my treat will have to be Fresca or Diet Squirt or Caffeine-Free Diet Coke and Dr. Pepper. 4 days down, 27 to go.

Labor Day

While trying to get Ruth and Lily to pick up their mess, had this conversation:
Me: Today's a Holiday called Labor Day.
Ruth: Really? Why is it a holiday?
Lily: It's a holiday? Yea!! (launches into song)
Me: It's all about celebrating the fact that you can work. So why don't you get to work and pick up all your toys.
(Amazingly enough that worked)
Ruth: OK

Later,
Ruth: Mom, I want to check the mail.
John: No mail today. It's a holiday.
Ruth: But if it is a holiday about work, then why isn't the mail man working?
Me: Oh, if you work everyday, then you get to celebrate by not working, but if you don't work like you, then you get to celebrate by working.
Ruth: (wheels spinning) Oh
Lily: It's a holiday!! Yay!! (Dances and twirls away)
Ruth chewed on that for a while. John and I laughed and I think she actually was more helpful then usual. I love creative explanations. They are my favorite.

Weekend Off

Last Thursday John and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. That means I've been married to John for over 1/3 of my life. Crazy!!

We celebrated by dropping our kids off at my parents (who are saints for watching them for us) and drove up to Salt Lake for a wild weekend of capitalizing on our kid-free status. Here's some of the fun things we did:

• We went to the temple and did some sealings.
• We ate out about 2 meals a day, and played a fun dice game called Farkle while we ate. (I love eating out!!)
• We went swimming at 10 o'clock at night. (I tried my new board shorts that I bought to go over my swim suit and I loved them!!)
• We spent a whole day having a board game-athon to see who would be champion of the world (or at least the weekend). I won but I just squeaked by. I think John was thrown off by the lack of interruptions by kids. He's used to playing under very different circumstances. See John's blog for more details.
• We screened the Joseph Smith movie. I know, we're slow but we didn't want to go and take all the kids and have it be too scary. Verdict: Ok for Kate, Mary and Emma; Too much for Ruth, Lily and Adam.
• We went on a tour of the Humanitarian Center. Awesome!! It made me want to make lots of quilts and other kits that they hand out from there.
• We walked around Temple Square.
• I got a hair cut. John watched and I'm hoping he can keep it trimmed up.
• I exercised in the hotel workout room.
• We basked in the silence.
• We didn't watch any kid's shows.

It was really fun to have a weekend off and get to have some good quality time with John. He's great and I love him. "Of all the fish I've ever caught, he's my favorite." (The kids were good for my parents. They got to run through the sprinklers every day, watch about 50 shows on ROKU, eat tons of food and play all they wanted to with their dog, Chloe. A good vacation for everyone all around.)

My Favorite Recent Mother-Daughter Conversations

Conversation #1
Ruth: Ya know Mom, some people don't know very much.
Me: Really?
Ruth: Yea, like babies don't know anything.
Me: That's true.
Ruth: And some people don't have very good minds.
Me: What do you mean?
Ruth: Some people just don't think very much.
Me: Uh-huh
Ruth: But, me, I'm thinking all the time. I'm thinking when people are talking to me, and when I'm listening to music and when I'm playing. All the time.
Me (in my head): I bet you are. I consider myself warned.

Conversation #2
I was in the kitchen cooking dinner.
Kate came into the kitchen.
Kate: What are you making for dinner?
Me: I'm making spaghetti.
(Long pause, raised eyebrows)
Kate: I didn't know you knew how to cook spaghetti.
Me: Well, I do. I know how to cook lots of things.
(Yes, this is how pathetic my cooking life has become. I guess I'll have to work on that.)
Kate: Oh. (Backing out of the kitchen fast. She's a smart girl.)

Girls Night Out--Payne Style

Tonight was Girls Night Out (or in, as the case may be). John took Adam to the fathers and sons campout, so we had to take advantage. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but finally I figured something out.

First, my mom came down and we went shopping. I took the girls to the dollar store and let each one pick out something. I paired them up in partners and drilled them that they were only getting one thing, or nothing if they threw a fit. It went as well as can be expected. Nobody threw fits and we made it out of the store after only about a half an hour (I think it helped that I told them I was only walking through the aisles once and once I reached the last one, if you hadn't decided, you weren't getting anything). It probably would have been much worse without my mom, but it worked out ok. I think the girls had fun. Maybe what they picked is telling: Kate- sunglasses, Mary-a glass birthstone plaque, Emma-a teddy bear, Ruth- a foil balloon all covered in flowers and butterflies, and Lily-a package of Lays Stax.

Next, after a couple brief stops where I ran in and my mom stayed with the girls in the car, we went to Wendys and the girls got to pick one thing for the main entree at dinner. Then we came home and supplemented with chips.

And we topped off the night by having popcorn mixed with M&Ms, a Payne family tradition, and watching the classic chick flick, Anne of Green Gables. The girls are finally old enough to truly appreciate it and it has been fun to watch it together. Their favorite part so far seems to be when Anne finds the mouse in the pudding. Big hit!! I do love my girls!!

Tara: Ireland's Royal Board Game

I always wanted a game named after me. When I found this at Barnes and Noble tonight, I just couldn't pass it up. Who could? Especially when it was on clearance for 50% off. Perfect!!

How many steps you got?

The kids' reward this week for doing their chores everyday was pedometers for everyone. Here's the background. The last DMBA health challenge was a walking one. You had to walk so many steps a day, and to measure this, John and I wore pedometers all day every day. Some how we ended up with an extra one, and so the older girls started taking turns wearing this one and seeing how many steps they could get in a day.

One day I saw Mary jumping from foot to foot in the back room. "What are you doing?" I asked. She said, "I'm trying to get to a 1000 steps." Whatever, I thought.

Another day I found Emma sitting on the side of our bed, bouncing up and down. Again I asked, "What are you doing?" She lifted up her shirt, pointed to the pedometer and said, "I'm trying to get more steps." Whatever makes them happy I guess.

So I picked up a pedometer for everyone at the dollar store and when I handed them out on Friday, you would have thought that I was the greatest mom ever. We spent an hour outside of the kids running around frantically, then stopping and comparing how many steps they had on their pedometers. Ruth, Lily and Adam ran up to me about every five seconds, pointed to their pedometers and asked, "How many do I have now mom?" It was pretty hilarious.

Adam, especially, got the routine down. For the rest of the weekend, he has been coming up to everyone, lifting his shirt and when they ask, "How many steps you got?" he answers enthusiastically, "Eight!" It's always eight, but he seems happy.

I never realized pedometers could be so much fun. I'm tempted to send the kids outside and say, "Don't come back in until you have 3000 steps." Sounds like fun to me.

Summer Fun

Emma's primary teacher told us that when they asked if the kids were doing anything fun or going anywhere this summer, Emma sadly said, "We're not going anywhere or doing anything." I laughed. That was just Payne kid code for, "We aren't going to Buffalo this summer and nothing else counts for anything." We do love Buffalo and we often drive out there, about once every two years. Last year we went for most of the summer. But Buffalo is not in the cards this summer. John can only take the drive about every two years and all our extra money went elsewhere this year.

So I sat the girls down the day they got out of school and asked what they wanted to do. We ended up making a schedule of sorts for the summer. I know that I always want to do a lot in the summer but if I don't plan it than we just sit around all summer. So our schedule goes like this:
Movie Monday (Scera movie tickets)
Library Craft Tuesday
Wii Wednesday
Movie Thursday (Scera movie tickets)
Outdoor Fun Friday
State Park Saturday
Each morning the girls have a different room to clean, and if they get it done, eat breakfast, and get dressed then they get to do the fun thing for the day. It has worked pretty well so far, but we're only two weeks in and the first week was soccer camp.

So, I'm pretty sure it will never be as fun as Buffalo, but I think the girls are having an all right summer. Here's to summer fun!!

Ruth's Quote of the Day

Today Kate, Mary, Emma, and Ruth all started BYU soccer camp. John took the older girls in the morning and I took Emma and Ruth in the afternoon. When they were picking up their shirts, Ruth, as usual, struck up a conversation with the t-shirt gal. At some point the lady asked how many brothers and sisters Emma and Ruth had. Ruth said, "I have one brother and (big pause) I don't even know how many sisters." Emma didn't seem to know either. The ladies laughed and I told them 4 other sisters, but apparantly too many.

Reading With the Kids

I used to read to the kids every night before I sent them to bed. We read all the Junie B. Jones books, and the Magic Treehouse Books, and the ABC Mysteries. The kids loved it and so did I. But it just kept getting harder and harder. The books that I wanted to read to the older kids were too long for the little ones and the picture books for the little ones were a little too simple for my older kids. For a while I tried reading some for each level, a couple of picture books for the little kids, and a chapter of a longer book for the older ones. I still liked reading to the kids but this method took soooo long and by the end I was always yelling at someone to stop screaming or grabbing my head or something or I was desparately trying to keep my eyes open and not fall asleep. I felt like it defeated the purpose of feel good read-aloud time. It was too hard, so I just stopped.

But I missed it. I missed talking to the kids about the books and discussing the stories. I felt like I hardly ever read to the little kids (I read a ton to Kate and Mary when they were little, I couldn't think of anything else to do). And I missed keeping up on the different series for kids that was easy to do when I was reading them for bedtime.

So I started little again. I began reading to Ruth, Lily, and Adam before naptime. But instead of reading to them all together, I read a short story to them individually, while they lay in their beds. I let them choose, and if they chose a chapter book, I would only read one chapter. I remembered how much I really enjoyed reading to the kids when they weren't being so crazy. And I felt that maybe it was offsetting some of the times when I was frustrated and got upset with them for being crazy during the day. Hopefully, it gave them something good to remember me for.

And then when our baby Hope died, I realized I needed to spend a little more quality time with each of the kids. But I also realized that it would have to be something that I enjoy or it wouldn't last. I love to read. So I asked Kate, Mary, and Emma if they'd like me to read them books at night. I told them that they could pick whatever book they wanted, but that I was only reading a chapter a night. They seemed surprised, but they each wanted to do it. They chose books and we started doing it.

I just go around each night and read each of the kids a story or chapter as they are laying in their beds. It still takes a long time, but the kids aren't being crazy (usually) and I'm moving around so I hardly ever fall asleep. And I think that sometimes it actually helps the little kids to fall asleep, because they listen to their own story and then to the story of the sibling they share a room with. And with Kate, Mary and Emma, I've been able to read some books that I've wanted to read and just haven't found the time for. Finally, it has also given us a few minutes each night for them to talk to me if they want to. I also started reading a story from The Friend (in place of their regular stories) on Sundays and we've had some great gospel discussions.

I have to be honest and say that I only average about 3-4 times a week of doing this. Other nights I have things I have to go to, or sometimes I'm just too tired. But overall I've felt really good about the whole experience. I still kind of miss the fun of being able to discuss a story with the whole family (I've got some great stories about things the kids have said while reading stories as a family) but I'll have to give that up for now. It has also reminded me how adaptive you have to be as a parent. What works one time may not work the next month or the next year. You just have to enjoy whatever it is while it works, and be willing to change when it doesn't.

One funny new development is that Kate has decided she wants to read me excerpts from things she's reading. That's fun too. And nice (but I can't promise I won't fall asleep).

Well, I'm finally finishing some of the books I've been reading them and I can't wait to see what they choose next.

Blogger's Quilt Festival: Emma's Quilt

The first quilt I ever pieced together I made for my third daughter, Emma Rose. I have done a lot of cross-stitching in my day and I went at it from this viewpoint. My mother-in-law had showed me how to do your basic nine patch, so I got some graph paper and planned how to write "We love Emma", replacing squares in the nine patches with a rose print (for her middle name Rose) in a cross-stitch fashion. I cut the squares in the nine patches about 2" and I cut them from all the scraps I had. I cut scraps from pretty much every fabric I had, which included scraps from dresses, pajamas, and blankets I had made for my other daughters, several things I had made for my husband or fabric he had ( including some Buffalo Bills fabric because he is from Buffalo), and fabric that my mom had saved over the years from things she had made. I cut the rose fabric for the letters and the borders from a dress I started in high school and never finished. I made the heart in the center from some furry fleece left over from a stuffed animal I had made for the girls. Then I machine quilted it just doing stitch in the ditch.

When I made this quilt I had no understanding of colors or patterns. I just wanted to make a quilt for my daughter and use the material I had. I mixed fabrics I would never mix now and I put together fabrics I probably wouldn't now, but I love that quilt. I made this quilt 5 years ago, and I've learned a lot about quilting since then, but I know that the important things about quilting are still the same, sharing a heartfelt creation with someone you love. I also discovered in this quilt that I could be creative and create my own patterns and that I could personalize any quilt that I made. That is my favorite part of making a quilt--making it unique and personal.

I think that the Blogger's Quilt Festival is an awesome idea and I'm glad I stumbled upon it. If you'd like to see some great quilts, check the festival out with the link above.

Goal Update 2

I think I've gotten out of my writing groove but maybe this will get me back into it.
Read 105 books this year -- Right now I've read 20 books, 1/5 of the way there. Unfortunately, we're almost half way through the year. Oh well. My reading count could pick up soon for two reasons. First, the library's adult summer reading program starts on Friday. The more books I read, the better the chances I have to win prizes. This is a good incentive for me. Secondly, I've been reading each of the girls a chapter from a different book before they go to bed a couple of times a week. I'm almost done with all the books and I'm counting them. It has been a good time with the girls and the books have been good.

Index 10,000 names--So far I've indexed 2700 names for the year. My indexing has dropped off the map. For some reason I'm having a hard time getting back in the habit. I'm going to try harder though because I know it is both rewarding and worthwhile.

Finish my 200 projects by Sept. 1 of next year--I'm at about 84 right now and I've gotten back into sewing so that has been fun. Sewing and doing projects are some of those things for me that help me feel good and like I'm accomplishing something.

Complete the $200 DMBA health challenge--I have successfully completed the first two DMBA challenges and am half-way through the third. For finishing the last one I got a great apple cutter and John got 2 free smoothies at Jamba Juice (which he gave to me because he no longer eats that sort of stuff). Very fun. I've kept up on my walking and find it very relaxing and therapeutic (which is what the current challenge focuses on).

Post on my blog once a week--I've kind of slacked off on this one too. I'm having a hard time getting excited enough about something to write about it. But I think I'm getting better.

Write in my journal at least 5 days a week--I've kept up with this goal for once. I think writing in my journal and reading my scriptures have gotten me through the last few months with my sanity intact. I'm grateful that I got into this habit before the baby died because like I said, it has really pulled me through.

Read the Book of Mormon and the Old Testament reading for the year: I'm doing well with the Book of Mormon and have challenged the kids to read it too. I also got the seminary manual for the Old Testament and have been working my way through it. I do better with some kind of structure in scripture study, especially with the OT so this has helped a lot.

Try to be nice to my kids and have fun with them--Tuesday nights are still on and I have been trying to read to them more (something I enjoy doing with them) so I think things are going OK. Hopefully, we'll be able to do some fun things as a family this summer. I'm trying to figure out some kind of schedule for the activities so that we actually do them, maybe a Wii day, a reading day, an art at the library day, a visit family day, movies days, etc. We'll see how it goes.

Random Project Update

I have been working on quite a few things lately but I keep forgetting to post them so here are a few pictures of the things I've finished lately. The first three are pictures of the last few quilt blocks I've finished for my quilt block of the month class. And the last two are of the tag quilt I made for my niece. This time I made the embroidery on the front also be a pocket. I really liked how they all turned out. I really like making things.

Payne Family Comic Book Store

The first Saturday in May every year is Free Comic Book Day. This has become a Payne family tradition. We have gone every year for at least 5 years. John is a huge comic book fan and the girls love it. This year we were really on the ball and went when our local comic book store first opened. We had looked online the night before so we knew what family friendly comics were out there and we were able to get one of each of these. The girls were super excited. They came home, vegged out on the couch and traded comics (read then trade).

I'm not sure how it happened, but then they started writing their own comics. From Kate all the way down to Lily, we had a comic book making machine. Prompted I think by the comic book store's large boxes of $0.10 comics, the girls decided to create their own comic book store of home made comics, put the comics in boxes and then invite neighborhood kids over to shop. They have gone all out. Kate is even putting ads for Mary's comic in her book (so true to free comics, where half of the comic is advertisements). Ruth is the most excited about the comic book store, at least she talks about it the most, and she has finished about 3 so far. She has it all figured out. And Emma worked all week on a pretty detailed cover for her "Super Pink Girl!" issue 1. I've read it and it is very funny and very Emma.

I find this whole thing very amusing. I am not a huge comic book fan. I think I'm not visual enough or something. Reading comic books kind of gives me a headache. But I am fully supportive of everyone else's obsession. And if you're in the market for comics, you might want to talk to the girls.

Learning Languages at the Library

Here is my plug for the library. Our library is AWESOME!!! It has great programs, the people are pretty friendly, they have really fast self-checkout so you don't actually have to talk to anyone if you don't want to, and they have a great website where you can renew books online and search online. I also love their big collection of book club sets that our book club uses. It is so convenient.

But I just discovered one more reason to love the library. The library has access to a lot of online tools that I, as a library patron, can also access online at home. I've used netlibrary before, where you can download audiobooks for free and I like it but there is not a ton of selections.

Ahhh, but the newest tool that I've discovered is Powerspeak. Powerspeak is an online foreign language course website that I can use free through the library. I didn't know they had something like that. Emma is learning Chinese in school and the school has a link where you can also use Powerspeak, but it is the elementary school or high school version. The library's is the adult version and I really like it. Just this morning I've worked through about half of the first lession in Chinese. The website also offers courses in French, Spanish, German, and ESL. I decided to work through the French course along with the Chinese because I used to speak French a little and I kind of miss it. I also have a French niece who doesn't speak a lot of English. So I worked through about half of the French lesson 1 as well. The website just has you register with your name and a password and then it will save your place for you as you login and logout each time. I am really excited. I'm thinking of having the kids do it this summer so they can learn a little Chinese too, or whatever language they are interested in.

What a cool library I live by. Oh, and some of the other programs that I love at the library are the mother-daughter bookclub for girl 9-12, the summer adult and children's reading program, the Children's Book Festival (coming up on May 15, so great that you don't want to miss it!!), and the annual Literacy Symposium. And my favorite part about the library is that everything, or almost everything, is FREE which is the right price for our family. So if you live by me, go check out the library.

Literary Shout-outs

I've been thinking a lot about reading and the effect it has made in my life. And then I thought about different people that I associate with different books. So, here are a few shout-outs to some of those people.

Emma Patterson (Farnsworth) first suggested Pride and Prejudice to me in high school, the start of a life-long passion. To know Darcy is to love Darcy.












Laura Farnsworth (Hansen) and I used to lie on her bed and talk about the Anne of Green Gables books. We really liked Gilbert. (We also watched The Scarlet Pimpernel over and over but I don't think we ever read the books.)











My little brother only read 1 book growing up: Where the Red Fern Grows. I also used to read him Edgar Allen Poe stories on the way to my grandma's on Sunday. His favorite was "The Cask of Amontillado".











My sister Michelle read Fury and the White Mare to me when I was little. I loved it.










My little sister Heather got me to read the Harry Potter books. She was in high school when they came out.











I never would have read Justice League of America, Volume 1 without my super husband John.










My mom named me Tara and her favorite book is Gone With the Wind. She denies any connection but I've always had my doubts.












I'll never see Junie B. Jones books without thinking of our old family password, "When ponies attack!" or the revealing confession that Kate made during the reading of Junie B Jones is a Beauty Shop Guy.










I'll never forget hiking Mt. Timpanogos with my college roommates after reading Woman Warrior for my Asian Literature class.










That's just a few and I'm sure I'll remember more later. But I'm grateful for all the books in my life that remind me of people I love.

Mary's Blog

Mary has a new blog. Over spring break Kate was updating hers and Mary wouldn't leave me alone until I made one for her. (We skipped the no TV week thing.) It was funny because she was very meticulous about the color scheme and design. It was a fun activity. Mary and Kate spent about 2 hours one day working on their blogs, so that was good. There's a link on John's blog (I'm link illiterate). It mostly has books she's read, like Kate's, but her first entry is hilarious. You should go there just for that.

Thank you!!

I would just like to thank everyone who has done kind things for our family in the last couple of weeks. Thanks for all the prayers and thoughtful words. Thanks for the dinners, flowers and cards. We've appreciated it all and it has helped a lot. Thanks again!!

Good News, Bad News, Good News

The good news is that we have a beautiful baby boy named John Able Payne.

The bad news we found out Tuesday at the ultrasound was that sometime before, our baby's heart had stopped beating. Then we were told that because I was so far along I would have to go deliver the baby just like he was full-term. It was a surreal experience to go and deliver our tiny little boy that had passed away in the same labor/delivery rooms where I have delivered all six of our other children, strange to go through the same process only to lose our little guy.

But the good news is two-fold. The first is that every one around us in a very bad situation was wonderful, angelic even. Starting at the ultrasound lady, to my doctor, to our stake president that we counseled with, to the nurses, grieving counselor, anesthesiologist all at the hospital, and lastly, our extended family and ward members. We felt loved, cared for and cushioned from the fall.

Secondly, the good news is the "Good News" of the gospel. We are an eternal family. We will have our baby John in the eternities. We will come to know the personality behind that sweet little face, fingers and toes. We will hold his living body someday and it will be sweet indeed. All will be restored through the atonement of Jesus Christ as we strive to keep our covenants.

Tomorrow we are laying our little one in the ground. I never thought I would have a baby in the cemetery. Who does? But I know through the strength of the Spirit that we will get through. The Lord will heal our broken hearts and we will see baby John again. Until then, I will appreciate my other six children a bit more and be grateful that I have such a loving, supportive husband. Good news will win out, even if the bad news seems to dominate for a little while.

Goal Update

Here's my first goal update for the year:
Read 100 books this year -- So far I've only read 4 books which really isn't on pace to make 102 so I've got to step it up. I've been watching a lot of online TV, too much. I'll have to work on that.
Index 10,000 names--So far I've indexed 2700 names for the year. I think I'm right on track to finish for the year. I love indexing and get a lot of TV watching done with this which is fun.
Finish my 200 projects by Sept. 1 of next year--I'm at about 65 so far but I've only done about 1 project since the beginning of the year. I've had a really hard time getting myself motivated because I'm so tired at night. That is the one drawback for me of being pregnant, I have no energy at all.
Complete the $200 DMBA health challenge--Successfully completed the first challenge and am well into the second. I got a Swiss Army Knife for the first challenge. Not sure what I'm going to do with it, but now I have one. I love this goal because it motivates me to be healthy and exercise. It is so fun.
Post on my blog once a week--I think I've done this one so far. I love writing in my blog and have started adding any ideas that I have for blog posts on my google task list in gmail so I don't forget. It has worked well.
Write in my journal at least 5 days a week--I actually have been doing really well on this one the last week or so. I finally found a time that works for me and I have started just doing 5 things I'm grateful for each day. That format provides a good structure for me to remember things each day, but also be short so that I have time to finish.
Read the Book of Mormon and the Old Testament reading for the year: I have been reading most days and am doing OK I think. I love reading the Pearl of Great Price. There is such good, enlightening stuff in it.
Try to be nice to my kids and have fun with them--Tuesday nights are still going strong and I really enjoy those. I haven't been going to my mom's really since the beginning of the year but the girls have been begging for it so I hope to get back to it soon. I have also been trying to do a few more things with the little girls during the day, and focus more on helping the older girls with their homework. I hope it is working out OK.
And one last goal: Successfully survive having my seventh child in the beginning of August: We go tomorrow to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. John is convinced it will be a girl, I'm not so sure, but we'll see. The girls seem to unanimously want another girl, I'm not sure why and Adam has not voiced his vote. Who knows? We'll see. Other than a few bouts of migraine, the pregnancy has gone ok. I just have no energy and have trouble sleeping but I'm sure I'll make it.
So, all is going well but there's plenty of room for improvement.

Cafe John

Three posts in a row about food . . . I must be pregnant.

Anyway, when I was pregnant with Kate, I was teaching at a middle school. John used to make me lunches to take every day. I worked with a lot of guy teachers and they used to make fun of me and say, "He's just being nice because this is your first pregnancy and you're newly married. Wait until your fourth or fifth pregnancy. He'll just wonder what you're complaining about."

Well, this is my seventh pregnancy and I have to say that John is great still. When I'm pregnant, I'm always hungry, but not a lot sounds good. And I really am not good at cooking or thinking of meals when I'm pregnant. So, John asks me just about every night, "What do you want for dinner?" And most often I answer, "Good food." Usually John delivers.

But occasionally he goes above and beyond. The other day I noticed that we had all the ingredients for the chicken salad with grapes, celery, and nuts. So that night when John asked me what I wanted, I laughingly said I wanted the chicken salad. Now I know that John doesn't like that stuff and can't eat several of the ingredients in it. But he asked what was in it and started working on it right away. I looked up a recipe on the internet that had the secret ingredient as Worcestershire sauce (weird I know). John used his new chopper and chopped all the ingredients really fine. It was one of the best chicken salads I've ever had. Good work!!

I just wanted to go one the record saying that I've really enjoyed living at Cafe John all these years.

Rabbit Food otherwise known as Lean Cuisine

A month or so ago I bought a pack of Lean Cuisine meals at Costco for pretty cheap. I eat a lot of frozen meals for lunch and I like the lean option because there's not as much fat and they're not as greasy. Before I've tried Healthy Choice steamers and Michelina's Lean Gourmet meals. I think they are both really good and the Michelina's ones are really cheap so that's a bonus. But because of the deal, I decided to try the Lean Cuisine.

However, I have to say the Lean Cuisine meals (Spa Choices) were NASTY!!!! They were probably the worst things I've eaten in a very long time. I kept eating them because I hoped a different flavor would be better, but every one of them was terrible. They had some kind of whole wheat orzo and it tasted like wet paper, mud, or what I imagine our pet rabbit's food pellets taste like. Soooo gross. The meat was good and the sauces were ok, but they just couldn't make up for the horrible texture and taste of that other stuff. I'm all for fiber and I usually love whole wheat options, but this just wasn't worth it. Maybe it was just the ones I had; I've never tried any of their other meals, but I'm not encouraged.

So if you have the choice and you want to go healthy, go for the cheap Michelina's or the tasty Healthy Choice, but skip the rabbit food.

International Hamburger and Pickle Month

(Not John's actual hamburger but close to looking as good)

I just read today that March is International Hamburger and Pickle month. Little did I know that our family was celebrating last night when we had hamburgers, Cheetos and corn for dinner. John made these great burgers that I wish I had taken a picture of. We had beautiful bakery buns from Maceys, with gourmet burgers with a little onion mix mixed in, provolone cheese, large slices of tomatos, ketchup, mustard and pickles of course. They were very tasty, so much so that Adam ate some leftovers out of the garbage later. He seems to have survived and was really mad when I made him stop. So Happy International Hamburger and Pickle Month. Enjoy, just don't get so enthusiastic that you eat them out of the garbage. There are better ways of celebrating.

"I'm a Big Girl Now!!"

I'm declaring Lily officially potty trained. She's declared herself "a big girl!"

She's almost been potty trained a few times before, but it just didn't take. My philosophy of potty-training is anti-mess. I believe in pull-ups. I told Lily that she couldn't wear underwear until she could show me that she could consistantly not go in her pull-ups. About a month ago I was at Maceys and they had their generic pull-ups on sale for $5.99 (a package that is typically about $10-15 at Wal-mart). I couldn't pass it up so I bought a few. Now the real problem with pull-ups is that they are way more expensive than diapers. This removed my problem. Every time I went and they were still on sale, I bought a few more. Then I started letting Lily wear pull-ups all the time.

Now Lily's big dream is to wear these cute pink and flowery underwear that I bought her last summer. But I have been firm that she can't wear them until she can show me she is ready. When she first started wearing the pull-ups, she did pretty good, but she was still having accidents every once in a while. I tried to remember to remind her to go potty before naps, bedtime, and bottle refills.

One day while I was changing her, Lily asked if she could wear underwear like Ruth. I told her that big girls like Ruth didn't just go potty in the potty sometimes. They went potty in the potty all the time. I guess she understood because she went about 4 days without going potty in her pull-up. So I gave in and let her wear her underwear. That was about 3 days ago and she's been doing great.

So, 5 down and 2 to go. Hurray!!! That's pretty good. And only 1 kid in diapers. That hasn't happened in years. I think I'll enjoy it while I can. By the look on his face I don't think he's ready to talk about potty training yet.

Quilt Block of the Month # 1

My mom and I found another quilt block of the month class to go to. Her ward is having one once a month. It's $5 a month (after the initial $10 I think). The lady who runs it provides the material for the block each month and even cuts out all the pieces. The cutting itself is worth the $5. Most of the ladies stay at the class each month and sew their block there. But my mom and I would rather do the sewing at home so we just color the pattern and then make sure we know what is going on. It is a fun thing to do once a month and it gets me to do at least one block a month. I also get to learn a few new techniques here and there. Plus it is fun to see some of the ladies that I grew up with. They were shocked that I had 6 kids and was pregnant with my 7th. I think it made them feel old, because they were all my young women leaders and stuff. Plus I get to do a little quilting with my mom which is always fun. So here's my January block. I sewed it while watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, a classic. I like how the block turned out.

Target Audience

Ruth seems to be the target audience for all kinds of advertising, not just kid stuff like toys. In the last little while she's come up with some pretty funny quotes and requests from commercials she's seen. Here's just a few:

We were watching an Air Wick commercial for their new air freshener that you can push a button and it gives a burst of air freshener. Ruth said, "I need one of those Mom, then when Lily comes into my room with a stinky diaper I could push it and it would smell a lot better!! Maybe we could get one for every room."

We were riding in the car and the I was warning the girls to be careful with the food they were eating so they wouldn't stain their clothes. Ruth's response was, "It's ok, Mom. We just need to get some Clorox 2. It gets out the tuffest stains ever!!"

And last of all, "Mom, we need some pillow pets. They are stuffed animals that bend over into pillows. They're great for traveling."

I'll let you know any other she comes up with. Ruth keeps my life interesting.

Lily's New Favorite Phrase

Lily's new favorite phrase is, "Mom, I'll tell you what. . ." Great! Just what I need, another born negotiator.

FHE Proudly Brought To You By Ruth

Somethimes I think Ruth is going be the end of me. She has more energy than I can handle at times and she always knows exactly what she wants, whether it is what I want or not. But she also is incredibly loving and funny.

Anyway, tonight was her turn to give the lesson for FHE. Yesterday I had her pick a primary song. We looked up the scriptures listed at the end of the song and she picked one. Then she picked out some of her favorite pictures from the gospel art picture book. Last we talked about what she knew about Jesus, which by that time wasn't much (her attention span had been used up by then).

So tonight at the end of dinner I had her do her lesson. She enthusiastically told everyone that we were singing "I am a child of God". We sang it. I whispered the scripture in her ear and she said it nice and loud (Ruth is not one of our shy, quiet children). I held the picture book while she explained about a few pictures. She had picked a picture of Noah's Ark, Mary with baby Jesus, Jesus on the cross, and the resurrected Jesus with Mary at the tomb.

Then I said, "Ok, Ruthie. Tell them what you know about Jesus."

Ruthie turned around and said in a clear voice, " I know that Jesus made us. I know that Jesus died for our sins. I know that as Jesus was hanging on the cross he was thinking that that was the only way we could get back to heaven."

She probably would have gone on but at this point I laughed (just one, short burst). It was mostly a laugh of shock. Instead of a 4 year-old, she sounded like a 20 year-old. I tend to laugh when I am shocked. (Once I started laughing hysterically when I slammed one of my high school friend's hands in the car door.)

I pulled myself together and asked her if she would like to say anything else. She laughed and said, "No!" I later apologized to her for laughing and told her how proud I was of her for her fine job of giving the lesson.

So I guess the moral is that Ruth listens to more than she lets on. I love her and am grateful for the energy, laughter, love and testimony that she adds to our family.

Spending Spree

Our insurance company DMBA offers you $200 every year if you participate in their wellness program. In the beginning it was only for employees, but this last year they expanded the program to include spouses as well. I was all over that. I really like to eat healthy and exercise, but I rarely make the time. But throw in a little monetary incentive, and I'm there. I love a good challenge. And if you work at BYU as John does, DMBA gives you the option to participate in BYU's wellness programs. BYU runs its own wellness challenges and gives you little prizes for completing them. So on top of the $200, you can earn a bunch of fun little gifts. So this past year, I did all the challenges. I really enjoyed doing them. And from BYU I got a mini mag flashlight, a nice BYU hoodie, a BYU beanie, a first-aid kit, and a few other things I can't remember (there are 6 programs throughout the year).

Anyway, back to the money, so I earned $200 last year from DMBA. About a month ago John asked me how I was going to spend my money. I hadn't really thought of it that way. He said that since I earned it, I could spend it anyway I wanted. I thought and thought and couldn't really think of anything I was dying to have. Now two things I love in life are books and music. Several times recently I've just wandered through the Amazon website looking at music that I'd like to download for my ipod. I've thought about maybe buying an album a month or something. So when John said I could spend it on anything, the more I thought about it , the more I really just wanted to buy a bunch of music. I know it is kind of crazy but there it is. There are few things I like better than going walking and listening to my ipod, or just driving around and listening to my ipod. It is about as relaxing as anything gets in my life. And I love to just press shuffle and know that anything that comes up I'm going to like. I love the suspense yet certainty of it all.

So, long story short, I spent my money on music. It definitely was a splurge and now I can think of a bunch of other things I could have bought, but at the same time, whenever I turn my ipod on to my new music, I am thoroughly happy. John thought I was a little crazy (he spent his money on cooking appliances). And the bank called to make sure someone hadn't stolen my card committed fraud by buying a bunch of music, but it was all me. And I actually got about $300 worth of music with my $200 because I joined emusic for a month for $12 and got 100 songs out of it.

In case the suspense is killing you, drum roll please...... here are the albums/songs I am now the proud owner of and why I chose them.

1. ABBA: Gold--I've always kind of liked ABBA and they remind me of one of my best girlfriends Kaylyn who grew up singing ABBA, so Kaylyn, it is all your fault.

2. Barbie as The Island Princess and a few other random songs from other Barbie movies-- I have 5 daughters and they all love the Barbie movies and I have to say that I really like them too. I think the music is fairly well done and clever as kids' shows go. Plus the girls get so excited when it comes on the ipod in the car that is makes it worth it.

3. Barenaked Ladies: Snacktime--I just love this band. Their lyrics crack me up so I thought kids' music put out by them would probably be pretty funny. I was not disappointed. My kids may not think it is hilarious but I do. I just laugh and laugh.

4. The Broadside Band: English Country Dances from Playford's Dancing Master, 1651-1703-- My favorite parts in all the Jane Austen movies are always the dancing scenes. I love the music and the dances. So I decided to hunt around and find some music like that. I did and I love it. This album actually has a song that was used in one of the movies. It is toe-tapping good.

5. Assorted music from Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, and Emma--Again, I love the music. These are my favorite movies by far and a big part of them is their great music. Now I have it.

6. Dan Zanes and Friends: Night Time!--This album has a lot of great folksy kids' songs. I really like good kids' music and this stuff is good. I first saw this guy on Nick Jr. and I liked his songs, so I decided to try an album. I like it a lot.

7. Imagination Movers: For Those About to Hop--I know I might be buying into a little bit of hype, but I really like these guys' style. Their music is upbeat and fun and I can't help singing along. I had to get at least one album and I'm glad I did.

8. Jack Johnson: Sing-A-Longs & Lullabies For The Film Curious George-- The music in this movie makes me smile everytime it comes on. I don't know if it is the guy's voice or his mellow rhythmic guitar or what, but I love it. So I got the album. I love all the songs. It's one of my favorite new purchases.

9. About 4 songs from various John McCutcheon albums--If you haven't heard this guy, you should. He is an amazing musician and folk artist. I first heard him in high school at the Timpanogos Storytelling Festival. I was entranced by his musical ability and comedy. I always buy a few of his songs when I have the chance.

10. Justin Roberts: Not Naptime, Pop Fly, and Yellow Bus--This guy is probably my favorite kids' artist of all. I just randomly checked one of his albums out from the library when Kate and Mary were little and ever since he's been a favorite. So I bought the last 3 albums of his that I don't have. His lyrics are hilarious and I love his music. Once I hear one of his songs I can't get it out of my head for the rest of the day, they're that catchy.

11. The Laurie Berkner Band: Whaddaya Think Of That? and Rocketship Run--Laurie Berkner is probably my other favorite kids' music artist. She does a lot of traditional music in new ways and has a lot of clever and funny original music. These were the last two albums of hers that I didn't have.

12. The Best of Peter Breinholt--I've really liked him since college. One of my other college roommates Sara and her husband really liked him. I just never have gotten around to buying one of his albums. The mixes on this album aren't always the best, but it was the best bang for my buck and I'm sure I'll get used to them.

13. Ryan Shupe & The Rubberband: Dream Big--This is another group that I just find hilarious and I love the rhythm and the strings. It makes me want to dance and laugh at the same time. You can't beat that.

14. Music Time with SteveSongs--This is another guy I first heard on PBS kids programming and I couldn't get the songs out of my head. I like the rhythm and the witty lyrics. And Steve kind of reminds me of a friend in high school, I'm not sure why. Love the album.

15. They Might Be Giants: Here Come the ABC's along with singles of Particle Man and Istanbul--This is another throwback to my youth. I loved this band's music back in the day. I thought they were hilarious. And their kids' music is almost as funny. It's pretty good. Plus Hot Dog! from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is on the album. Love that song!!

16. Pure '80's #1s--This is probably a silly pick, but I love 80's music. I listened to a lot of music growing up because my brother had music on 24/7 and the speakers were so loud you could hear it two blocks away. Consequently I know all the words to all the songs and the only thing I miss about not listening to the radio is hearing all these cheesy songs. Now I'm not missing them.

17. Sid the Science Kid Soundtrack--This music is reminiscent of Schoolhouse Rock for me. It is very educational but clever and has a good beat. I like it and so do the kids, and where else can 3 year olds learn about reversible change. You can't beat it.

18. Smallville Volume 2: The Metropolis Mix--This is mostly John's fault, which is kind of ironic, considering he doesn't really like the musical montages on Smallville. He thinks they're cheesy. But he got me started watching it with him, and has bought me almost all the seasons of it, and I like the music. It is a little harder than a lot of the stuff I listen to, but it brings back good memories and appeals to my wilder side. Everybody needs that sometimes.

And that's it. And that's probably enough for a good long time. But it will all make exercising this year a little more fun, which will make it easier to earn my $200 for next year so I think it was for a good cause.

Pregnancy Preferences

Every time I have been pregnant something different has bothered me. When I was pregnant with Kate, pretty much any strong smells bothered me. I couldn't open our refrigerator for months (this was before I trained John to cover things in the refrigerator). The other pregnancies all kind of blend together but these are the things that have been banned during at least one of my pregnancies: mushrooms, pork, broccoli (cooked), Italian dressing as a marinade, overly salty foods, large amounts of garlic and hot dogs with casings.

I started thinking about this because this time, oddly enough, the thing that has really been bothering me is artificial sweeteners. I was kind of in the habit of having a diet drink of some kind with my lunch. I know it isn't that healthy, but it always tasted good. Then one day, out of the blue, I had a Diet Coke and felt really sick afterwards. I wasn't sure what was the cause, but another day soon after I had a drink and felt awful again. I wasn't sure if it was the caffeine, or the Coke, or the diet. But after going a while without having any drinks, one day I really had a headache and a Coke sounded really good. I decided to risk it and had John just get me a regular Coke. It didn't bother me at all. Since then I've experimented a few times, and each time I have something that is diet, I've felt really yucky after. So I'm steering clear and going back to the real stuff for a while. I think it is really strange but I'm not going to argue. There's worse things that could bother me.

Valentine's Thursday

John and I have an unspoken agreement that whenever we can go out in the near vicinity of Valentine's Day counts as Valentine's Day. We try to avoid the actual day, or in this case, day before, because the restaurants are so crazy. This year the Thursday before was the day. We have a standing babysitter on Thursdays and there was no school the next day so it worked out well for us.

And this year John was kind enough to work hard and win an employee award for extreme "competence" which came with $100 in restaurant gift certificates. There's nothing better than getting to go out for a nice dinner without having to pay for it. John and I chose to go to Ruby River and it was really nice. We got to sit in a booth which I love and talk for a long time. Our food took a little while to come, but I got a shrimp cocktail, my favorite, so that pretty much covered any subsequent sins. When the food did come, it was really good.

One funny side note to the dinner was that while we were there, the hostess sat about 8 huge guys across from us in the same size booth that we were sitting in. I'm not sure why but I've honestly never seen that many guys sit that close together. And they looked like rugby players. Interesting.

One of the highlights of my night was my gift. John always surprises me. He had been building up his gift for about a week. It came in the mail early in the week and I was warned not to open it. I really had no idea what it was. John told me that he was inspired by his friends at work, which I wasn't too sure about. I know his friends at work and that didn't inspire me with a lot of confidence, but they did good. John got me the dvd of the new Emma that Masterpiece Theater just made. I've really wanted to see it and I didn't even know it was out on dvd. Good work, my man.

Speaking of guys at work, Thursday when I went to pick up John, a guy at his work asked me what he should get for his wife. The question caught me off guard. I know his wife but I have no idea what she wants for Valentine's Day. He said, "Do flowers and chocolates cut it? or do I need to be more creative?" I responded, "I wouldn't mind flowers and chocolate. But I'd get her something she wants." "Oh, so a gift is the expectation. I get it." I don't know, I thought. That's my expectation. John said it was tough, because I wasn't getting flowers and chocolate. I don't mind. I love my Emma dvd. And he did get me chocolates later. Anyway, I think if you have to ask some other lady what your wife wants for Valentine's, you're already in big trouble. I hope it all worked out for him.

All in all, I'd give Valentine's Day a thumbs up for the year, even if it was on Thursday.

Cold Feet

John had to work all night last night.

This means that my feet were cold. I am a pretty cold person. I like people and all that but I seem to be unable to consistantly keep my hands and feet warm. When I was growing up I used to wear gloves and two pairs of socks to bed.

But when I married John, all my problems seemed to be solved. I acquired my own personal space heater. And I know he loves it every night when I jump into bed and put my ice cold feet on his warm legs. It's his favorite.

The problem comes when he is not there. I've gotten used to sleeping without my socks on and I can't bring myself to go back. So, last night my feet were cold.

But all this reminds me of something that happened to me in college. My first two years of college I lived at home. So mostly I hung out with friends from high school. One New Year's Eve, one of my best friends growing up invited me to her house for a family party. Now Liz comes from what I would consider a pretty conservative family. I don't really remember who was there except for me, Liz and her boyfriend, Steve. Anyway, there were a lot of friends of her family there and we just wandered around talking to random people.

At some point, we were sitting at her kitchen counter talking to some lady. She was complaining about her husband who was perennially cold. She was always warm and was saying that it had caused a lot of friction in her marriage. I naively said that I wouldn't think it would be that big of a problem. I said I thought that the warm person could warm up the cold person.

This lady turned around and said in the loudest voice possible, "Obviously, you've never slept with anyone!!"

All conversation at the party stopped and looked at me. I was beet red and agreed that I never had slept with anyone. Liz's mom quickly came over and took the lady away. And after a couple of shocked minutes, Liz, Steve and I busted up laughing.

Now, looking back and having slept with someone for going on 12 years, all I have to say is she was wrong. (At least from the cold person's point of view)

Oklahoma vacation

At the end of last month, John was generous enough to let me go on a week-long vacation to visit my little brother with my two sisters. He even donated the airplane vouchers to pay for the whole trip, and gave up his chance for a trip. And last but not least, he took vacation and took care of the kids. He is awesome and I love him.

(My sisters and I at the Oklahoma Sooner Monument along the river)

The vacation was really fun. I don't to get to spend tons of time with my sisters anymore because we're all busy chasing our kids, so it was great to have fun with them. I love both my sisters a lot. And we really don't get to see my brother and his family very often because they live in Oklahoma and have a hard time getting up here to visit. His wife is awesome and a great hostess and always kind enough to let us stay with them when we come visiting. And his two boys and little girl are super cute.

(Pictures of the Oklahoma City Sooners Monument along the river with my brother John)

My hope for the vacation was to get in some great sleeping time and not to change any diapers (sorry Jani) and it was all I hoped for. John also took us on a great little river walk they have in downtown Oklahoma City. We played games every night and had a great time over all. So thanks to both the Johns in my life and to my sisters for agreeing to join me. My John says it is my last vacation for about 5 years unless I take him with me. I think the kids wore him out. But they were all still alive and in good condition when I got back so I think he did a great job.

(Top: John, Joshua, and Joseph; Middle: Joshua and Joseph playing the Wii I brought; Bottom: John, Jani and Brooklyn)