My Husband is Driving Me Crazy (The Sequel to My Kids are Driving Me Crazy)

I'm just kidding. John doesn't drive me crazy, but occasionally he does have some pretty crazy ideas. After 11 years of marriage, I've learned to reserve judgement. I have to say the ideas usually turn out well, but often when he tells me one of his new ideas, in my head I am screaming, "Are you crazy?!!" I try to tone down what actually comes out of my mouth. But here are a couple of John's latest ideas that have worked out brilliantly.
1. Family scripture study for us lately has been very hit and miss. When I pointed this out to John (he often is not home for the scripture study at night because of other commitments), his answer was something like this, "Well, we could get up at 6:30 each morning and read scriptures." Now I just have to say right up front that John and I are not morning people. We struggle to get out of bed on time to get John to work and the girls to school. So I was a little skeptical. And we both tend to be a little grumpier in the mornings. I told John that as long as he got himself out of bed I would go along with the idea. Well, John was right. It has worked great. The girls are less energetic at 6:30 in the morning and are pretty content to sit on the couch and listen to the scriptures. And most of the times we've done it, I have felt truly grateful to have 6 beautiful children as I look at them sitting sedately there. It has turned out to be a good quiet moment for me and sets a good tone for the rest of the day. Hurray for John and his brave new ideas.

2. John decided that it might be a good idea if the girls made their Christmas presents for their siblings. Again I was a little hesitant at first. I am more than happy to take the girls to the dollar store and have them pick out presents. But John was right in thinking that most of these things just don't last and add to the junk already cluttering our house. My other thought was that I was going to end up helping with most of the gifts and I wasn't sure I was ready to commit to that. But I'll try most of John's ideas once, so we announced the news to the girls and forged ahead. And I have to say, John was right. I have ended up helping the girls but it has been an amazing experience. My three oldest girls all decided on their own exactly what they wanted to make and have done most of the work themselves. It has been really fun to help and watch. I'm still trying to figure out gift ideas for the younger 2 (Adam is out this year) but I agree with John that I think all the kids will appreciate their gifts more this year. And the girls are practicing and learning good skills in the process. Yea for John (who also is making his gifts for the girls this year)!! What a good guy.

I can't think of any other glaring examples right now, but I have to say that John is usually right about what is good for us. He's not driving me crazy, but he sure is pushing my limits which is good for me. I definitely need that kind of push now and again and I appreciate all his hard work.

Last Goal Post of the Year (Before the End)

So I am trying to make a last push to accomplish my goals for the year. Consequently I wanted to do one more intermediate blog entry so I could see where I am. Here goes:
Read 100 books this year -- I am almost done with my 80th book. If only I can read 20 books this month I'll get there. We'll see. I've started reading shorter books and have found some I really like (see my other blog, Tara's Booklist). I know, kind of cheap, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Index 10,000 names--Finished and I honestly haven't done much lately because I've been trying to focus on some of my other goals.
Finish my 200 projects by Sept. 1 of next year--I think I'll be to about 50 by Christmas--we're doing lots of homemade gifts this year which is kind of fun.
Complete the $200 DMBA health challenge--I've done all the challenges so far. The current challenge is to maintain your current weight within 2 pounds throughout the holidays and get at least 7 1/2 hours of sleep 3 times a week. I think it is the hardest yet because I love all the good food of the holidays and I love to stay up late because my house is so quiet. But I've succeeded so far so here's hoping for the future.
Post on my blog once a week--I think on average I've done OK with this one, although I think I have slacked off the last little while.
Write in my journal at least 5 days a week--I was doing really good on this one for a couple of weeks and I started doing it a little differently by saying 5 things I was grateful for everyday and found that I was still listing a lot that happened during the day within that context. And it was very therapeutic and helped me to be happier. But then I slacked off again. I need to find a consistent time to do it because I really like it when I do.
Finish reading the Book of Mormon and D&C by the end of the year--I think I'm OK on this one. I have worked out the numbers and it should work out if I don't slack off. I love the scriptures.
Get A's on all the beginning level songs on DDR--I actually have gotten A's on all the beginning levels on both I and II except for 2 songs and they are killer. I'm not sure if I will ever get them but I'll keep trying. And I have yet to get A's on everything using the hand markers. They are hard so I might go back and try to do it using them too. There's always next year.
Make bags and organize toys--I'm giving this one up except that I might make a bag to go along with Adam's Christmas present of lots of toy cars.
Try to be nice to my kids and have fun with them--Again, mixed results. I really need to get my voice level under control. But I have been helping the girls make gifts for their siblings for Christmas and it has been really fun, and I am surprised by their talent. Life's good and I do love my kids.
Here's to a happy, productive Christmas season.

Book Club Schedule

For all those people who are looking for a schedule for the book club, here it is:

November 19
North and South
by Elizabeth Gaskell
Discussion Leader: Laura Dahl
Hostess: Talia Christensen
(1081 East 620 North)

January 28
The Lost City of Z by David Gran
Discussion Leader: Talia Christensen
Hostess: Ileen Harris
(1082 East 620 North)

February 25
The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan
Discussion Leader: Cami Quinto
Hostess: Tara Payne
(1021 East 620 North)

March 25
The Actor and the Housewife by Shannon Hale
Discussion Leader: Kate Jacquier
Hostess: Georgia Faux
(675 North 1130 East)

April 22
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
by Mary Ann Schafer, Annie Barrows
Discussion Leader: Midge Evans
Hostess: _________________

Children of Eden: A Review

Last night John and I went to the see the musical "Children of Eden" at BYU. I actually really liked it, with a few caveats. The costuming was amazing. There was a scene about Noah's ark where people were dressed up like animals and it was beautiful. They wore these cool mesh animal heads. I've never seen anything like it. And there was a lot of dancing and singing, both of which were really well done. The dancers were beautiful. I love watching dancing and I was fascinated. And the singers were very good as well. I love musicals so I thought it was great. And the staging was also very creative. It was inventive and original.

Now that I've said all the things that I loved about it, I'll tell you why, unfortunately, I'll not be taking the girls to see it although I'm sure they would love all the music, dancing and costuming. The story is an adaptation of the first few chapters of Genesis, including the creation, the garden of Eden, the Fall, the story of Cain and Abel, and concluding with the story of Noah. My problem is with the portrayal of the Father and the prophets. Heavenly Father is a main character in the play, and he comes off as an arbitrary, not very nice, parent. He tries to be loving but is also secretive and vengeful. He tries to talk Adam into staying in the garden without Eve. The prophets, Adam, Able, and Noah seem weak and simple for choosing to obey the father. The people who disobey are portrayed as having the "spark of creation" and seem more reasonable. I don't know. I found it bothersome. As an adult, I can recognize an interpretation of Genesis without the light of the Gospel. And like I said, it was very creative. But I think the play would be very confusing and troublesome for children, who don't really understand themes and symbolism.

So, I guess I have to say I left with very mixed feelings. But I really was impressed by the dancing. It was awesome!

I love Friday the 13th

I believe strange things do happen on Friday the 13th. After all, 17 months ago today WE had a boy, our sweet Adam. That's pretty strange. So here's to Friday the 13th.

Bad Omen

This morning as I was taking Ruth to preschool she says, out of the blue:

"Mom, I wish we had a beautifuller house."

Not exactly what I want to hear from my 4 year old first thing in the morning, especially when we just spent $40,000 remodeling our house. It does not bode well...

My Take on Preschool

Ahhh, preschool... What can I say about preschool? (Actually a lot, so here goes.) The other day a friend started asking me about preschool and where my kids went and why, etc. This made me start to think about how my preschool theory has changed from before I had kids until now.

Basically, right now, I think preschool is a big trap: once you start you can never stop. But before I had kids I really was kind of indifferent on the whole topic, maybe even anti. I didn't go to preschool and I couldn't see any negatives to my experience. Looking back, I realize that I played a lot with friends in my neighborhood. There were a lot of little kids my age and my best friend's mother actually ran a preschool that we played in after hours. I spent a lot of time at that friend's house, as much as I wanted, and I never felt socially deprived in any way. My only real trauma came when my best friend went to school a year ahead of me and I was left home half the day.

ANYWAY, so I didn't see a real need for preschool. When Kate was about 3, some friends in my ward talked me into doing a very low key Joyschool thing. I mostly thought of it as a playgroup, and the weeks when I had to teach were really not my favorite (though they always turned out OK). But I really liked the other women in the group and Kate liked seeing some other kids her age. All in all we had a positive experience.

When Kate was 4, almost 5, I was not planning on sending her to preschool at all. However, Kate missed the deadline for entering school by 7 days and she was really ready for something. I suppose I could have figured out something at home but my sister in Lehi suggested that maybe Kate and her cousin Jennifer could go to preschool together at one in her neighborhood. I thought it would be really fun for Kate to get to spend time with her cousin, I had heard rave reviews about the preschool and it was very reasonable (minus the gas to Lehi), and I got to spend 2 mornings a week with my favorite older sister in the whole world. I couldn't say no. Besides, on top of all that, I had a 3 year old and a 1 year old and was pregnant with my fourth and I needed to get out of the house before I started to go crazy. This gave me a good excuse.

I have to say, I loved Kate's preschool. Kate had a great time, I had a great time, my other girls had a great time. Everything seemed great. But Mary was watching and waiting. She could see all the fun things that Kate got to do at preschool, things that I would never tackle at home (because of my own laziness and the various ages in my household), things like painting and crazy crafts. Kate came home with tails of getting to pet pigs (the preschool was on a pig farm) and act out plays. There was no way Mary was going to miss out on something like that. So she began to say, "Mom, when do I get to go to preschool?"

By this time, I was beginning to reconsider my ideas about preschool. Although I still didn't think preschool was necessary, I realized that this just might be an easy, fairly inexpensive way to buy myself out of feeling guilty about not being an incredibly creative and outgoing mom. Why not pay someone else to let my child express her artistic talent and then clean up the huge mess that came with all that creativity? So I pacified Mary with, "When you are 4, you can go to preschool, just like Kate."

When Mary was 4, almost 5, I found out that the lady who had run "Piggy Preschool" (Kate's alma mater) was retiring from preschool and moving to the big leagues--kindergarten. I was a little disappointed and Mary was crushed, but I also was a little glad. Because by this time, gas was a lot more expensive and driving to Lehi twice a week seemed a little more daunting. At the time, I had a first grader, a 3 year old and a 1 year old and was pregnant with my fifth. Everything was so much more complicated. But I had promised Mary, and she can be loud when she's disappointed so John and I started looking around.

Eventually we opted for BYU preschool. John works at BYU so he could get our kids into it fairly easily. We'd heard good things about the preschool and it used to be in John's work building so he thought it was great. However, it was a lot more expensive than sending Kate "to the pigs". At first I was a little shocked, but John (being the math major he is) broke it all down for me and showed me that it was about the same amount per hour as Kate's. It just was a lot more hours (4 days a week instead of 2) and we didn't have to pay for the gas to Lehi. I caved and Mary loved it. She got all the social interaction and creative play that she could ever want. I think she painted every day for a month. And the playground there is amazing!! Plus there is like 1 adult for every 3 kids and a great snack every day. But the biggest bonus was that at the end of the year they gave me 4 huge books documenting her year in preschool. Now, not only was I paying for my kid to have something to do, I was also paying for the scrapbooks to go with it. Awesome!! Talk about lightening the guilt load. But Emma was watching and waiting. Soon, I began to hear the fateful question? "Mom, when do I get to go to BYU preschool?"

So now here I am. Emma went to BYU preschool. Ruth is in it now. Ruth even squeezed another year of less intense preschool out of us, because she couldn't handle staying at home with me and Lily (she also can be very loud when disappointed). I'm slowly falling deeper and deeper into the pit. It has even gotten so bad that I started doing an at home preschool for my 2 year old, before her year of less intense preschool, followed by BYU preschool. Little by little I've given in and I have to say that pretty much I think my girls have loved it. I still don't think kids need preschool, but maybe if your kids are really close together and you hate cleaning up messes as much as I do, maybe preschool can keep both you and your kid happy and engaged. It worked for me. Preschool or therapy? Preschool is a lot cheaper.

My Kids are Driving Me Crazy!!!

Sanity is a funny thing, at least for me. Too many things on one side and I feel crazy, a few on the other and I feel fine. So here are a few things my children are doing to push me over the edge, and a few things that balance it all out and keep me getting out of bed in the morning.

First, one of my daughters (we'll call her Lucille) tends to be a little forgetful. I think she comes by it honestly but it really is driving me crazy. She also tends to lose things and then forget to look for them. For example, about a month ago, Lucille lost her homework folder from school. Now this folder contains everything she needs to do her homework, and also carries home all the notes I need to see from school. One day she said she couldn't find it.

I said something like, "Lucille, did you have it when you left school? Was it in your backpack?"

"I don't know. I think so." (Mostly blank stare)

"Was your backpack closed? Could it have fallen out on the way home?"

"I don't know. Maybe." (More blank stare)

And the conversation continued for a long time in that same vein. Now because Lucille is small enough that I still feel semi-responsible for her homework and helping her do it, I started to freak out about this folder. Every day for about 2 weeks I asked her to look for it at school, look in the lost and found, talk to her teachers, etc. It finally got to the point that I emailed both her teachers, told them that she had lost the folder and the baggy book in it, and asked them for new stuff. I also had a talk with Lucille about taking responsibility for her own life, and not thinking that some magic person was going to step in and look for her folder for her. This seemed a revelation for her ( she depends a lot on older sisters to pick up the slack) and said she'd try.

So, the day after I'd finally accepted the fact that the folder was lost to the abyss and taken steps to get a new one from her teachers, Lucille comes home just beaming from school. "I found my folder, Mom!! I asked some of my friends at school and one of them had found it on the floor and gave it to another of my friends to give to me. Isn't that great?" Now, don't get me wrong, I was really glad that she found her folder. I also was happy that she took some responsibility, spoke up and solved her own problem (after a great deal of badgering and threatening from me) but WHY COULDN'T SHE DO IT THE DAY AFTER SHE LOST IT?!!!! WHY WAIT TWO WEEKS AND STRESS HER MOTHER OUT?!! I have no answers to these questions.

Example 2: This same Lucille recently lost her coat. Now it is getting pretty cold here and I just bought her a new coat last year. It is a great coat and really warm and she lost it. Every day for about two weeks I asked her to look for her coat at school. In the meantime, we managed by using old coats that we had around, but I really wanted her to find her coat. I had her sisters look for her coat in the lost and found. I told Lucille to ask a few friends who's houses she'd been to play at, if they had seen her coat. We looked at church and everywhere in our house and yard. I was starting to think about how we could swing buying her a new coat, and seething all the time I was thinking about it.

Then Friday she comes home happily wearing her coat.

"I found my coat, Mom!!" Lucille shouts as she walks in the door from school.

I was relieved. I really was, but I had to ask, "Lucille, where did you find it?"

"On the hook at school," she answers sweetly.

I ask you, DOES SHE WANT ME TO BE CRAZY?!!! All I could really do was laugh hysterically and give her a big hug, but I'm starting to think there might be a sinister plot somewhere here.

Example 3: I have another daughter (we'll call her Scarlett) who seems to think claiming she's doing jobs while hiding in her room for hours is a good idea. One day she'd been in her room for a couple of hours supposedly cleaning it. I'd asked her to clean up very specific things and expressed vehemently that I wanted them done because I could no longer walk into her room for all the stuff on the floor. Each time she came out I would ask, "Scarlett, how's it going? Are you done cleaning your room yet?" She would casually look around and say something like, "Almost..." and then quickly walk away, back to her room. Now I know I'm silly, but I actually thought she was cleaning her room (more of a hope really).

Later when I went to tuck her in bed, Scarlett's room was EXACTLY the same as it was before the two hour cleaning session. I have to say I lost it. I tried to be calm, I really did. And eventually I explained to her why lying about the whole thing made me even more upset than the messy room, but she seemed genuinely perplexed as to why I was mad. Am I the crazy one or are they?

Now I could go on and on but I'll stop there. I'm not even going to mention another of my daughters (we'll call her Shannon) who consistently makes me question my sanity. On the flip side, here are the things that are keeping me sane.

First, sometimes my kids actually listen to me. Some of my children will do their jobs and pitch in to help younger siblings without even an eye roll on a good day. One day Lucille cleaned her whole room by herself with a minimum of badgering and Scarlett did that day too.

Second, one-on-one, I actually think my kids are pretty fun. For a while now we've been doing one night a week where I take one of the kids on a date with just me and them and I find that I really enjoy their company. They're funny and smart and pretty good conversationalists. And they have lots of great stories and theories about everything. Recently I also started taking one of the kids with me on weekends to my parents' house to work on sewing stuff. They enjoy the one-on-one time with me and my parents and again, we have a lot of fun. My mom makes them treats and lets them watch whatever they want on TV, and color or Kate gets sewing lessons. It really is fun and I love them. It often carries me through when they are all crying at home at the same time (I do have to say that Kate is past the crying stage so that's something.)

Third and most importantly, my husband is the best. He's very understanding. He thinks he's very funny (and most of the time he is) and makes me laugh. He's a great cook (I'm really grumpy on an empty stomach). And he understands my need to get away from the craziness. Just recently he let me buy tickets to go to Oklahoma for a week in January with my sisters to visit my brother. How awesome is that?!! He also doesn't mind taking care of the kids and helping with housework. And he likes me and likes spending time with me which really is the nicest thing of all. Recently we got a consistent babysitter one night a week so we would have a chance to have a date night and I really love it.

So, I think I will make it. I believe motherhood is an important calling. I'm sure the Lord will help me and is helping me all the time to do my best. And I'm sure it will all work out, but I just wish the kids would make it a little easier for me. Is that so wrong?