My Kids are Driving Me Crazy!!!

Sanity is a funny thing, at least for me. Too many things on one side and I feel crazy, a few on the other and I feel fine. So here are a few things my children are doing to push me over the edge, and a few things that balance it all out and keep me getting out of bed in the morning.

First, one of my daughters (we'll call her Lucille) tends to be a little forgetful. I think she comes by it honestly but it really is driving me crazy. She also tends to lose things and then forget to look for them. For example, about a month ago, Lucille lost her homework folder from school. Now this folder contains everything she needs to do her homework, and also carries home all the notes I need to see from school. One day she said she couldn't find it.

I said something like, "Lucille, did you have it when you left school? Was it in your backpack?"

"I don't know. I think so." (Mostly blank stare)

"Was your backpack closed? Could it have fallen out on the way home?"

"I don't know. Maybe." (More blank stare)

And the conversation continued for a long time in that same vein. Now because Lucille is small enough that I still feel semi-responsible for her homework and helping her do it, I started to freak out about this folder. Every day for about 2 weeks I asked her to look for it at school, look in the lost and found, talk to her teachers, etc. It finally got to the point that I emailed both her teachers, told them that she had lost the folder and the baggy book in it, and asked them for new stuff. I also had a talk with Lucille about taking responsibility for her own life, and not thinking that some magic person was going to step in and look for her folder for her. This seemed a revelation for her ( she depends a lot on older sisters to pick up the slack) and said she'd try.

So, the day after I'd finally accepted the fact that the folder was lost to the abyss and taken steps to get a new one from her teachers, Lucille comes home just beaming from school. "I found my folder, Mom!! I asked some of my friends at school and one of them had found it on the floor and gave it to another of my friends to give to me. Isn't that great?" Now, don't get me wrong, I was really glad that she found her folder. I also was happy that she took some responsibility, spoke up and solved her own problem (after a great deal of badgering and threatening from me) but WHY COULDN'T SHE DO IT THE DAY AFTER SHE LOST IT?!!!! WHY WAIT TWO WEEKS AND STRESS HER MOTHER OUT?!! I have no answers to these questions.

Example 2: This same Lucille recently lost her coat. Now it is getting pretty cold here and I just bought her a new coat last year. It is a great coat and really warm and she lost it. Every day for about two weeks I asked her to look for her coat at school. In the meantime, we managed by using old coats that we had around, but I really wanted her to find her coat. I had her sisters look for her coat in the lost and found. I told Lucille to ask a few friends who's houses she'd been to play at, if they had seen her coat. We looked at church and everywhere in our house and yard. I was starting to think about how we could swing buying her a new coat, and seething all the time I was thinking about it.

Then Friday she comes home happily wearing her coat.

"I found my coat, Mom!!" Lucille shouts as she walks in the door from school.

I was relieved. I really was, but I had to ask, "Lucille, where did you find it?"

"On the hook at school," she answers sweetly.

I ask you, DOES SHE WANT ME TO BE CRAZY?!!! All I could really do was laugh hysterically and give her a big hug, but I'm starting to think there might be a sinister plot somewhere here.

Example 3: I have another daughter (we'll call her Scarlett) who seems to think claiming she's doing jobs while hiding in her room for hours is a good idea. One day she'd been in her room for a couple of hours supposedly cleaning it. I'd asked her to clean up very specific things and expressed vehemently that I wanted them done because I could no longer walk into her room for all the stuff on the floor. Each time she came out I would ask, "Scarlett, how's it going? Are you done cleaning your room yet?" She would casually look around and say something like, "Almost..." and then quickly walk away, back to her room. Now I know I'm silly, but I actually thought she was cleaning her room (more of a hope really).

Later when I went to tuck her in bed, Scarlett's room was EXACTLY the same as it was before the two hour cleaning session. I have to say I lost it. I tried to be calm, I really did. And eventually I explained to her why lying about the whole thing made me even more upset than the messy room, but she seemed genuinely perplexed as to why I was mad. Am I the crazy one or are they?

Now I could go on and on but I'll stop there. I'm not even going to mention another of my daughters (we'll call her Shannon) who consistently makes me question my sanity. On the flip side, here are the things that are keeping me sane.

First, sometimes my kids actually listen to me. Some of my children will do their jobs and pitch in to help younger siblings without even an eye roll on a good day. One day Lucille cleaned her whole room by herself with a minimum of badgering and Scarlett did that day too.

Second, one-on-one, I actually think my kids are pretty fun. For a while now we've been doing one night a week where I take one of the kids on a date with just me and them and I find that I really enjoy their company. They're funny and smart and pretty good conversationalists. And they have lots of great stories and theories about everything. Recently I also started taking one of the kids with me on weekends to my parents' house to work on sewing stuff. They enjoy the one-on-one time with me and my parents and again, we have a lot of fun. My mom makes them treats and lets them watch whatever they want on TV, and color or Kate gets sewing lessons. It really is fun and I love them. It often carries me through when they are all crying at home at the same time (I do have to say that Kate is past the crying stage so that's something.)

Third and most importantly, my husband is the best. He's very understanding. He thinks he's very funny (and most of the time he is) and makes me laugh. He's a great cook (I'm really grumpy on an empty stomach). And he understands my need to get away from the craziness. Just recently he let me buy tickets to go to Oklahoma for a week in January with my sisters to visit my brother. How awesome is that?!! He also doesn't mind taking care of the kids and helping with housework. And he likes me and likes spending time with me which really is the nicest thing of all. Recently we got a consistent babysitter one night a week so we would have a chance to have a date night and I really love it.

So, I think I will make it. I believe motherhood is an important calling. I'm sure the Lord will help me and is helping me all the time to do my best. And I'm sure it will all work out, but I just wish the kids would make it a little easier for me. Is that so wrong?