BYU sleep stories

I was reading BYUMagazine and they had a section where you could send in sleep stories. Unfortunately, about par for the course, I was reading it about 6 months too late so it was too late to submit any but I have some good ones.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love to sleep. My roommates used to make fun of me because I could fall asleep anywhere, anytime. And I don't think there was a class in high school or college that I didn't sleep in at least once. And you probably don't want to hear my driving stories, they'd scare you. But here are two of my best school related stories.

First, when I was a junior in high school I had Pre-calculus last period. My teacher was a nice guy and everything but he tended to drone a little. He made me want to go to sleep after about 5 minutes of listening to him. Unfortunately, he seated people alphabetically and for some reason that put me front row on the last row by the door for the whole year. This was unfortunate because that was exactly where his podium was that he stood behind to lecture. I could not have been closer to him if I had tried. Now, being the polite person I am, I tried my darndest to stay awake. He wasn't a bad teacher, just monotone. But in spite of all my efforts, the only thing I remember about that class was sleeping every day all while he talked and waking up just in time to do my homework when he sent us to work.

I know, this isn't all that funny but here's the kicker, I was going through my high school stuff a few weeks ago looking for something and I found a certificate for Student of the Month from that same Pre-Calculus teacher. I laughed for about 10 minutes. I'm not sure what he was using for his selection criteria but it definitely wasn't "# of minutes in class with your eyes open", maybe it was more like, "ability to still get good grades even though you haven't heard a word I've said". Who knows?

Second, about my third year at BYU, I had an upper level French grammar class. Now this was when I was still considering French as a minor and had delusions about my ability with the language. Anyway, it turned out not so good in a number of ways. First of all it was right after lunch, my #1 hardest time to stay awake. Second, it was taught by a native French speaker who talked about a mile a minute. I think I understood about 10% of what he was saying. Third, it was full of returned French-speaking missionaries who also all spoke fluently. Now in my own defense, I could read French really well and knew my grammar 100% better than most of the missionaries but I just didn't have their experience with spoken French.

Anyway, all of these things added up to a whole lot of sleeping in that class. My brain would spend about 5 minutes trying to understand and then shut down and I would fall asleep. So one day I was 90% asleep, sprawled in my desk, and my brain caught a word I knew. The teacher was asking for a translation of a particular word (and had been waiting for a few minutes with no answer) and none of the missionaries knew it because it was something used mostly in written French. I had learned the word the semester before in a French literary class. I perked up, raised my hand and gave the English translation as soon as I was called on. Without missing a beat my French professor purred, "Ahhhhh, I knew it. Madamoiselle White dreams in French."